Not really.

But totally.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Pinterest

Oh my god. I fucking hate Pinterest more than a lot of things. I hate Pinterest more than I hate spiders, birds and bad Asian drivers. Pinterest is absolutely RUINING girls lives on the regular and they have no fucking clue why they can't get a boyfriend. I have an idea. Maybe it's because you link your Pinterest to your Facebook and everyone can see how fucking batshit nuts you are. No one should EVER have that many pictures of feline's in one place. Just saying. This post is related to people that link their Pinterest to their Facebook, so if you have one, good for you. Just don't think I care about all your DIY projects you want to try.

Sometimes I hate social media for this specific reason but then again I love it because it allows me to just absolutely rem girls that have this insanely unreal expectations on what their life should be like due to Pinterest. For those of you that don't know what Pinterest is, it is basically like an electronic cork board where you can "Pin" things you like. Anything from food to animal photos, they got it all.

Reason #1: Wedding
Ok ladies, this should really be a no brainer but some of you are so fucking retarded, I am going to remind you one more time. STOP pinning pictures of your ideal wedding. I can't remember the last time ANYONE cared about what you want your color scheme to be or what center pieces you want. You're 21 and single. Realllllly hate to burst your bubble baby girl but what makes you think this is going to happen soon?! What's almost as worse is girls with boyfriends who post wedding shit. Are you joking me. Are you fucking kidding me. NOTHING and I mean nothing scares a man away more than commitment and you two aren't even engaged yet your posting possible seating arrangements?! What in your insane little mind makes you think that your behavior is justifiable? For the sake of your boyfriend and everyone your friends with on Facebook, spare me your ideal flower arrangements and if you want to write your own vows. Fucking vom.

Reason #2: Fitness & Health
No matter how many inspirational workout posts and "healthy" eating plans you post, people still aren't giving a shit. I understand you putting it their for motivation, but is it really necessary to let your whole social circle know you're doing 50 push ups, 30 squats, 1 minute planks followed by a 15 minute cardio run? NO. Absolutely not. I barely care about what your plans are today let alone your workout regimen. My favorite is when they post on Facebook, Instagram, etc. of their "HeALtHy EaTS!" then later on in the night they are blacked out hammered eating In-N-Out. At least be consistent so I don't have to make fun of you all the time. You are just asking to not be taken seriously with your dieting habits. I understand it's hard to have a consistent healthy life style but please, don't shove it down my throat that you're healthy yet drink more than me and claim you live healthy. And your check in's at the gym certainly don't build your case either.

Reason #3: Some E Cards
These are the rise and demise of a lot of fucking people. Now I am a big fan of these cards because a majority of them are fucking hysterical. But you must be careful how you use them. Fuck you girls who post ones in a "Pic Stitch" that says you are wifey material with a picture of spaghetti. SPAGHETTI. Clap clap bravo to you bitch who boiled hot water and warmed up Prego! in the microwave. Cut it the fuck out, my 4 year old cousin could do that and probably not overcook the noodles as well! Adding Trader Joe's "Just Chicken!" and a smidgen of parsley does not make it any fucking better. If you were wifey material, you'd be wifed up. Not single and baking cheesecake brownies for you and your dog. Also, please cut it out with the ones that refer to you only being attracted to assholes. Because that certainly will attract a decent male! Because a good guy is going to look at that and be like, you know what, I am going to change her mind about the male race. FUCK NO he doesn't give a shit. He probably just wants a good blowjob and sees how self-conscious you are. It isn't cute, it isn't funny and it is not an "inside joke." You're annoying.

These are the reason why I hate most women. Why? Because they make normal girls look fucking psychotic. I would never be caught dead posting pictures of my future wedding that probably will never happen! And I can tell you right now, it will definitely lower that percent even more if you continue that. So I ask you ladies, please cut it out with the Pinterest crap. It makes us all look bad and for that, I can't stand you.

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